Know the facts                    

Be confident that the information you have about alcohol is correct and not based on myths.  There are some useful websites that can give you accurate and reliable information about alcohol and it’s effects.

>>  Young Minds

>> A Message for Young People

>> Drinking and you

Here are some tips that might help you have what could be a difficult conversation with your friend.

Consider your timing

When would be the best to time to have the conversation? Here are some tips that might help.  Pick a time…

• When they haven’t been drinking.
• Somewhere private.
• You are alone with them.

Talking to your friend

It can be difficult to talk to someone about their drinking and it is likely that their first reaction is going to be denial.  Here are some tips to help you have that chat.

• Try using “I” statements e.g. “I’ve noticed that your drinking more”  rather than “your drinking too much“.
• Be specific – Tell them what your concerns are and try to give examples of why this is worrying you rather than general e.g. “Last night I was worried when you got sick” rather than “your always throwing up“.
• Try to be positive – You’re having this conversation is because you care for this person, so let them know!  “Your my friend and I’m worried about you” rather than “Your an embarrassment when your drunk”.
• Focus on the behaviour not the person – Try to think about the person and the behaviour as if they were two separate things.
• Don’t accuse or judge– Try not to judge them or accuse them.  This will only lead to them being defensive!  Instead of saying “Your a pain when your drunk” try “I find it hard to talk to you when your drinking”.
• Is there a reason why? For some people drinking is a way of coping with a problem, a loss or change in their life or worry and stress.  For others they may drink because they think it makes them look cool or be more confident.  Finding out when your friend is drinking could help you find a way to help them.
• Moving forward – Try to find a way to move forward. It may be that by having the conversation in has made them aware that their actions are affecting you or you agree to try and do other things.   Ultimately it is your friend who has to make the decision to change their behaviour, you can’t make them.